Numb
by Eckru
Summary: The cold has never bothered Gray Fullbuster, the Ice Devil Slayer. But after losing the closest person to him, Juvia Lockser, his body has felt nothing but numb. Follow this mini-series as Gray progresses through different stages of mourning and accepting. Will he be able to overcome his grief or avoid it entirely by attempting to get her back? *Subject to re-editing
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! This story and future chapters will be my submissions for this year's Gruvia week! They will vary in length depending on how far my mind takes me... but I hope that doesn't bother you. I will follow the prompts, plus my own "side prompt" based on the story. Just a heads up, this fanfic universe will omit the Alvarez arc and will strictly be following Gray's story. Enjoy the read!**

* * *

 **Gruvia Week: Day I**  
 _ **Memory**_ **l** _ **Still**_

By being an Ice-Make Mage, immunity to temperatures that even reach absolute zero has no issue. That feeling of numbness any normal person would receive from exposure to extreme cold is something Gray Fullbuster would ever experience as long as stripping is his second nature. However, it won't be a special type of ice or snow that would make him feel cold for the first time in years, but a lack thereof. Naturally, you can never have ice if you do not have water.

The weather was absolutely perfect. The sky was still and clear with the sun shining just enough to illuminate the day without the bearing intensity of the heat. It was almost like time was standing still, allowing anyone to bask in the wonderful moment. But not even the beautiful ambiance can distract a few Fairy Tail members from how cruel reality really is.

Following the events of Avatar, the team felt fairly well about the state of Fairy Tail. Not only did they fight together as the guild's strongest team for the first time in a year, but also the hope that revival is possible. Natsu defeated the evil organization's leader, and the rest of the team managed to take care of everyone else despite being heavily out numbered. When it comes to a war between Mages, it will always come down to quality over quantity. Team Natsu delayed their celebration because they wanted to share the good news with Wendy who stayed behind from the fighting to take care of a Juvia who had fallen ill. Levy and Gajeel had met up with the team during the fight, but had to return to the Magic Council to resign in order to join Fairy Tail again. The one-sided, water-ice couple lived together during the disbandment of Fairy Tail. The two kept each other the much needed company after not having Fairy Tail anymore. Half a year into though, Gray accepted Erza's commando mission to infiltrate Avatar. Although Gray had benevolent intentions for it, for a awhile, the feeling of getting closer to E.N.D. made him anxious. But with that mission completed, he can accept setting aside his search for E.N.D.

It did not take Natsu's sass to make Gray feel like a bad guy for abandoning Juvia, but the now Ice Devil Slayer was more than willing to apologize to her after the weight of Avatar has lifted off his shoulders. When Natsu, Lucy, Wendy, and Happy first arrived to the temporary home of Gray and Juvia earlier that day, the entire place was just constantly raining with a sole cloud right above the tiny town. But returning from the Avatar battle, the sky was as clear as ever, the team taking that as a good sign. Rain did intertwine with Juvia's emotions. Right at the front door, Gray turned the knob, but did not open it yet. A normal routine for him was that the rain woman would constantly peek out the window awaiting for him to return. She would never give him the chance to even open the door for himself. He would always be greeted by the blue-haired Water Mage with a cheerful glee and tackling hug. It felt weird for Gray to not have this upon returning home, but Juvia was recovering and probably still resting. Gray would always feel uncomfortable with his water counterpart constantly staying by his side, but at the same time, he could never imagine anyone else being with him. He was genuinely sorry for having to leave Juvia without closure. Otherwise, she would not have to be so lonely, especially when your body is at a state where you need another person the most. Deep down, he had to thank Natsu for coming along with the team or this might have dragged on longer (actually it would have).

"Juvia-" Gray called out, only abruptly stop and taken back when he saw a certain Dragon Slayer and exceed standing on the other side of the room, in front of the opening to Juvia's bedroom. Wendy's head was down, hands cupped together, and a chilling aura filling the air. Charle did not want to look into anyone's eyes either. This eerie scene made everyone's heart drop. They did not want to believe what they had in mind, but they also have to expect the worst.

"Wendy...? Charle...?" Lucy stepped to the side with her fist pressing against her heart beating rapidly. After calling out their names, the two quietly took a few paces to the side to allow the crowd to see past the bedroom entrance. There was a white cloth covering a body in supine position. It was Juvia. Lucy had to say something before her body realizes what happened, before it hits her. "I-I thought it was just a fever..."

"It.. was more than just a fever," Wendy, the Sky Dragon Slayer and specialist of healing-based Magic, said in a solemn, low-tone voice. You could hear the guilt in her words and her attempt to hide away her sadness. She remembered the promised she made to herself a year ago that she will not cry and whine anymore. This event should not be an excuse for an exception of that vow, but it was difficult containing the sadness inside of her. She could barely speak, as she was even ashamed to be a healer. She wanted to apologize. No, she wanted to do more than that. But, there is nothing more that can be done. Before she could muster out another mumble to say sorry, she was disrupted by an sudden, single pat to the head. It was Gray, hair shadowing his eyes, but you can tell that he needed Wendy to be strong during a time like this. He kept his hand on top of her head until she felt better.

"Don't be hard on yourself Wendy," Charle in her exceed form tried comforting her partner. "You did your best."

"Gray-" Natsu called out to the person arguably suffering the most out of this news. If the situation was lighter, he would have poked fun at him at this point. I mean, the two have not been able to do their daily headbutting for about year, and Natsu had been itching to mess with his icy guildmate. But the coldness that everyone felt, made everything so depressing that anything you say may be inappropriate. And considering Natsu, he does not really say anything that appropriate unless he is on the battlefield. Of course, both fire and ice individuals had to experience losing their fathers for the second time. But Gray's relationship with Juvia was not so simple as father to son, or guildie to guidie.

"It's no one's fault," Erza said the words that everyone wanted to say. "But... I do feel responsible. I'm sorry Gray. I shouldn't have made you keep quiet about-"

"Stop it, Erza," Gray interrupted the S-Class' apology. He did not bother to turn around to look at her, but continued speaking as he could not look away from the white blanket. "Like you said, no one's fault."

He was lying. Despite what he said, internally, he was putting all the blame on himself. Gray did not have to disclose his location or his mission to Juvia. To him, he could have just told her a small lie so she would not worry. He could have said he was going on a trip, wanted to travel alone, visit his family graves, Lamia Scale, anything. In his mind, all he had to tell Juvia that he will be okay. Instead, he made her lonely, worried, and sad. He knew that Juvia's rain will always follow up with her emotions. He knew that she will not be happy without him. In the end, Gray would never have left her if he knew it would cost her life. Everyone had tears in their eyes at this point, allowing the opportunity for a moment of silence to respect Juvia.

"We should plan her funeral," Natsu suggested as he wiped away his tears. "It could bring everyone together again."

"Yeah... you're right," Lucy agreed with her soft eyes looking at the stern Fire Dragon Slayer. She had calmed down a bit, but everyone's hearts were still heavy.

Gray would not have it though. The word 'funeral' made him lose his cool. He tried so hard to keep his composure, stay strong, and pretend like he was accepting reality. He smashed the wall next to him with his fist, walked past Erza, Lucy, Natsu, Happy, Charle to the outskirts of the town. He lashed out with his bare hand on a couple of trees and rock. He hated how everything around him reminded him of Juvia, even his Magic. He was suffering so much. The sky was so still as if it was Juvia's life being cut off and forced to remain frozen. She had no more future, she had no more movement, she cannot walk alongside Gray. He hated how his tears reminded him of the rain that Juvia always brought with her. He felt so guilty that the amount he was crying did not sum up to how much Juvia cried for him. In fact, it only took her death for Gray to realize how little he did for Juvia. Many lives have been lost because of Gray. He felt like an angel of death. His mother Mika, his father Silver, his teacher Ul and her daughter Ultear... and now Juvia. The woman who has done so much for him, unconditionally as well. He hated the fact that Natsu wanted to use her death as a way to bring Fairy Tail together. After blowing off some steam and calming down slightly, his body started feeling paralyzed. He had never felt 'frozen' before, more or less, numb from the cold. It was as if his soul wanted to detach itself from his physical form... to move to the afterlife to take back Juvia. He could not lift his hand up, it was just struggling to move.

"GRAY!" the sound of Natsu's battle cry and a sudden kick jab to his back definitely made Gray to move by tumbling over some dirt and grass. He did not say or word, but slowly got up to his feet with his back turn toward Igneel's son. "What the hell was all of that about?!"

"Just SHUT UP, Natsu! You're the one that wanted to use Juvia to bring Fairy tail together! That's ALL you care about! What the hell is she to you?! Huh?!"

"She's a fallen comrade! Like with ANYONE in Fairy Tail, I am grieving too!" he yelled back and took a step forward. "You remember Lisanna?! We thought we all lost her! And we were all-"

"Well, Juvia is definitely FALLEN," he jolted his body around to get into Natsu's face and give him a punch to the face. Gray genuinely did not want to talk about any of this. He was not in the right state, the right mind to say anything he really means. He just wanted to escape. The two exchanged a couple of old-fashioned, street fighting punches and kicks. It was the way the two communicate. From every blow Natsu took from his friend, he could tell how much he was mentally shattered. They were not strong at all. Gray's strength was depleting because he was slowly losing himself. He was growing tired, and that would never happen under normal circumstances. From Natsu's pity, he give a quick jab to Gray's head which blew him to the ground where he would stay put.

"Juvia will never be forgotten," the Fire Dragon Slayer said with high value in his speech. He looked down on the spiky hair of Gray who did not bother to get up. "She will always continue living in our hearts."

"But...," he muffled through the dirt as tears started to flow down his cheeks to be soaked in the dirt. "Just as a _memory_..."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading! Follows, favorites, and reviews are appreciated! I apologize if this was a bit on the darker side, but I'm happy you gave it a shot. I'm sorry for any spelling and grammatical errors too... haven't had English class in years xD Thanks again for stopping by, hope you look forward for the next chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Yoho! Thanks for taking your time to read the next installment of this mini-series! And thanks again for those of you who showed your support for this story! I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

 **Gruvia Week: Day 2  
** **Eyes l Tears**

For regular folk, the time span between someone's passing and the burial ceremony can take from two days to a week. But in a universe where there is magic, there are ways to extend human capabilities.

The water Mage's body was kept in pristine condition for two weeks. The news of her passing has easily traveled throughout Fiore to reach the eyes of the remaining Fairy Tail members. Most of the members were scattered, but still within cities lengths of Magnolia Town. The weeks were spent to ensure that everyone received the letters that Lucy written herself. Many guildmates felt bittersweet about the reunion. Of course, everyone would have come together eventually without the need for an emergency. All someone had to do was ask.

One of the first members to return and arrive to Magnolia for the mourning was Gajeel Redfox. Despite his harsh personality, the two were very close considering how they were both in the same guild, Phantom Lord, prior to joining Fairy Tail. Having to go through two broken guilds was tough on them, but they took it better than other members as they have experienced it before. The open casket was ready since morning and Gajeel would be the first to pay his respects. He looked down at her body, her eyes are closed and body completely still. He had to glare right into her face in order to confirm that all of this was not a joke. The longer kept gawking at her frozen complexity, the more he finds that his sight is starting to blur, his vision progressively getting more difficult to see straight lines. They were his eyes getting consumed by tears, like Juvia's Water Magic.

"Are you crying Gajeel?" his _eyes_ widened to the sound of a gentle voice. He turned around to see a particular Solid Script Mage right behind him. It was none other than Levy McGarden, one of the other Mages that he is frequently partnered with and grew close to (not that he would admit to). Unlike Gajeel who wore his usual attire, Levy was dressed for the occasion. She tied a black ribbon in her hair with her usual style, and a little black dress with laced sleeves. She had a concerned look on her face, especially since the one person you would never see cry is actually tearing up. "It's okay if you are."

"You idiot," he said while obviously choking slightly from trying to hold back. He quickly wiped away the evidence and looked back at Levy with reddened eyes from rubbing too rough. "Of course I'm not. I-It was just-"

"I know," she smiled softly. The body language told Gajeel that everyone was okay, he did not have to pretend to be strong because she already know that he is one of the few people that is taking it harder than others. She walked up closer to the casket, right by Gajeel's side who refused to turn back around to look at the body. Instead, he scoped out the rest of the Kardia Cathedral and realized that all of the benches were empty.

"Where the hell is everyone else? Don't they know what today is?"

"Most of them are outside," Levy notified him as she continued paying her respects by placing a flower on the closed side of the coffin. "Everyone will have a chance to have a 1 on 1 with Juvia. The ceremony will be in the afternoon."

"Geez...," he said under his breath. "I wonder how that damn ice jerk is feeling."

* * *

Gray Fullbuster's _eyes_ were closed. He was still in the home where he lived with Juvia during Fairy Tail's break, sitting on a chair next to his former roommate's bed as if she was still there. They say that time would always heal, time would always be your friend, but no progress has been made so far for him. His heart was still aching. Despite the rest of his body being numb, he was not necessarily immune to any sort of pain or feeling. It was like a constant struggle for him, physically and mentally. He was fighting with himself this entire time. He wants to forget everything, but at the same time, he wants to be a mature adult about it. Death is a part of life.

"Water is a source of life...," he said to himself as his _eyes_ fluttered opened. Looking out the window and saw how it was already the middle of the afternoon based how high the sun was already. He had his hands cupped together and as he grew deeper in thought, he clenched them harder together. "Why did Juvia..."

Gray's _eyes_ widened as a flashback of the battle of Tartaros rekindled in his memories. Juvia fought against one of the Nine Demon Gates, specifically the necromancer than has kept his father alive. She was the one that allowed his old man to finally get peace and reunite with his mother. For that, he was grateful for Juvia for her courage to do what she has done. But his chest grew dense as he remembered the little things that have happened when the two lived together. The Water Mage, despite her cheeriness, had moments of pain. At times, she would have periods of fatigue and would sweat from the ferocity of her body battling with the pain. She would also insist that she was okay and there was no need for worry. He had to believe her. But now that he thinks about it, it must have been the anti-Magic particles that infected her body. Although he was not physically there to witness it, Natsu filled him in on it during their duo battle with Tartaros leader, Mard Geer. She was dying the entire time, and Gray did not do a thing about it.

He could not attend the funeral anymore. Not with all the missed opportunities, all the times that he could have done something to save her. Gray felt more guilt and he was just burdening himself more with the added turmoil. He fell the ground as he slammed his fist on the floor. His forehead pressed against the cold ground, teeth clenched tight, and the heaving sounds of cries echoed throughout the empty home. Without Juvia to comfort him, he felt all the more alone. His _eyes_ began to sting from all the tears that became rivers. He was suddenly met by a figure that appeared before him. From all his wailing, it was no wonder he could not hear someone coming inside. This confrontation made him momentarily calm down, but did not make an effort to look at whoever came to see him. Though, judging by the feet itself, Gray could probably already guess who.

"Get the hell up you jackass," Gajeel stomped his feet close to Gray's face. He was not having any bullshit to deal with, especially not wanting to waste his time by dragging himself to have an audience.

"What are you-"

As stated before, Gajeel was not having it. He did not come here to have a man-to-man deep conversation. All he wanted to do was to get the Ice Mage out of the place. He did not hesitate to grab the collar of Gray's black dress shirt with rolled up sleeves (yes, he still had clothes) and throw him against the wall.

"If you're done whining like a sappy ass ice cube," he said without considering how Gray was feeling. By all means, he knew that he was going through a tough time and was just making it worse by being hard on himself. But he was doing this for the sake of Juvia. Gray is not the only one who regrets not saying any last words, or doing anything to appreciate Juvia before her sudden passing. Gajeel was just dying from the fact that he did not see or talk to her at all after Fairy Tail parted ways. He knows that nothing was Gray's fault, no one knew that Juvia would be taken away so soon. What Gajeel wants to accomplish is making sure that she is properly respected. "You're coming with me to the church."

"...," Gray could not argue. Anything he will say would only be used against him. He knows himself that he was just putting blame on himself, but really, that was his way of trying to cope. Juvia spent her last few breaths suffering. She should have been surrounded by loves ones while telling each other happy stories and how strongly they felt about each other. Perhaps this was the time for Gray to do that. Chances are that her soul continues to roam around Fairy Tail, especially close to Gray. If she could hear him, the Ice Mage should probably say what he wants to say.

* * *

Gray was led into the church by Gajeel. The doors swung open as the aisle to the coffin was clear for him to walk up. Everyone else has had their moment with Juvia, and they were all expecting Gray to have his turn (just with an audience this time as he was quite late for the show). Members of Fairy Tail filled the benches dressed in black. The atmosphere was melancholy, but everyone still had each other to support and be strong for. It was Gray to do the same and keep it together for everyone else. He slowly walked up the little steps to see that her casket was covered with various flowers in colors from white to shades of blue. One last tear fell onto her cheek as Gray saw her closed _eyes_ telling him that her lifeless body was all that was left. Her hands were cupped at her chest and Gray just had to hold her hand in his. He wanted to make sure that his words reach out to her.

As he said his final words, he placed her hand back to its original position. He dropped to his knees and started shaking as it was almost time to really part ways. His dry _eyes_ beginning to run out of tears for him to shed. The water of his eyes have depleted, just like the Water Mage.

* * *

 **I purposely left Gray's final words to Juvia blank for your own interpretation. Do you think he would say he loved her too? Sorry for not loving her? Etc, etc, etc. Possibilities are endless! I hope you stick around for the entire week!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm so tired LOL! But THANK YOU to everyone with the follows and favorites! I really do appreciate it and it gives me an emotional boost! I hope you enjoy the chapter! If not, I don't blame you!**

* * *

 **Gruvia Week: Day 3  
** **Family l Listen**

A few weeks had passed since Juvia's burial. Fairy Tail has successfully revived itself and everything seemed to be almost back to normal. Aside from the big blow to the members, nothing seems to have changed drastically other than new skills that every member has picked up during the year dedicated to training and learning. But it was no surprise that Gray still had some difficulty adjusting back to a regular life. Sure, many would argue that he has gone through about 90% of his life without Juvia's presence, but it appears that her existence did leave a heavy mark onto the Ice Mage. He remained depressed as he did not enjoy things he would normally and his body would reject any attempts at feeling better. Gray did not know how to live anymore. He could not simply move on. He spent most of his time sitting by the river, at the spot where Juvia had given him a scarf as a gift. He would reminiscence about it all the time and hate himself more for not treating her better.

"Gray," a deep, womanly voice called out to him. He did not respond immediately to it and just slowly turned his head slightly, just until a flash of crimson red appeared at the corner of his eye. With her scarlet red hair, it takes no second thought to identify Erza.

"What?" he responded minimally, staring back at the flowing river.

"We can talk about it," she said in a calming voice as she sat right beside him. "Or I can talk, and you can listen."

"...," the lack of response made it clear to Erza that Gray preferred to just talk right now. He shifted his position to bring his knees up to his chest as he buried his face between them.

"I was really hurt when Jellal killed Simon," she admitted without a crack in her voice. The smoothness and confidence in her voice proved that she has accepted what has happened. Although you may never be happy with a loved one gone, it is a good sign when you can openly talk about your experiences to help a friend. She had to go through a lot to get herself back on her feet. It was one thing to have a beloved friend pass away, it was another when that very friend was murdered by another loved one. Jellal may have committed one of the worst mistakes he has, but since then, he has made it a purpose in his life to make the world a better place through Crime Sorciere. For Erza, her past would come back to haunt her when she met Kagura Mikazuchi, Simon's little sister who swore to avenger her brother. She was fueled by hate and anger that she almost lost herself as a human being. She did not want that to happen to Gray. Despite how there was no sole person to blame for her death, Erza knew Gray very well that he was capable of destroying himself if he loses it. "I would always blame myself for Simon's death. But I am alive because of him. I have to keep walking in order to cherish the life he lived, and keep on living."

"Juvia's dead," he blunted said with a slight chill in his voice. "Even if she was still here, I would still be alive."

She sighed. Cause Gray was right. This was not some sort of movie where someone's death was honorable and done out of sacrifice. If Juvia had a choice, she would not let her body go like that. She would never leave Gray alone. Her own wishes betrayed her as she was taken away. She thought she was okay, she did not want Gray to worry, she was trying to be strong, just like anyone else would. The 'Fairy Queen' shuffled around to grab something that she was holding to give to Gray. It was a pink booklet with a red heart and white embroidery on it. It was like a matching set to go with the umbrella she would always carry. Since Gray would not turn to look at her, she simply placed it in between his feet for him to see. He immediately recognized it as something Juvia would own.

"What... is this?" he looked at Erza this time, with the hard cover in his hand.

"The battle of Tartaros may have destroyed the town, including Fairy Hills, but we put a barrier around it to prevent any personal belongings to get ruined," Erza explained. "After the disbandment, most of us grabbed a few things, but left everything else. Lucy and I were looking to see if there should anything that ought to be buried with Juvia or preserve for the guild's memory."

"Why are you giving this to me?"

"It's Juvia's journal, or diary. Everyone agrees that you should be the one to read it. To know what Juvia thought-"

"I dont want it," he immediately shut down the idea of him reading through the book. He slammed the cover to the ground and started walking away. Disappointed, but expected this sort of outcome, Erza accepted Gray's reaction and continued on. She purposely left the book at the spot where he dropped it and headed for the opposite direction. With her intuition answering back to her correctly, the Ice Mage returned moments later to pick up the journal where he keeps it on him for the remainder of the day. He had a destination to go to in mind.

The travel time did not take too long for he has visited this place many times, but not lately. He could always allow his body to just get there mindlessly without any given thought. The path would always be the same, there would never be a detour. The thing about this place had never changed each time he would come see it. It would always be the same things to greet him all in the same places. But there was no one to greet him but a little wooden sign.

It was a bitter family reunion to Gray. Not only did he feel like a failure as a son and a man, but he also felt like he did not deserve to be in the presence of his father. He was not proud of letting someone go like that. But the Fullbuster son has come here to remind himself that he has gone through deaths of people he loved and has come out a better, stronger person. He leaned against the broken stone wall that he would usually sit on across from the grave of his parents. This would be a good time to examine the diary that Juvia had in her possession. But before he did so, he looked up at the sky. Since his hometown was up in the north, it would usually be snowing around this time. But on this very rare occasion, there were just grey clouds that covered everything above him. It was quite irritating for Gray to see just clouds. It was like Juvia was being shut in the heavens through the clouds. Or Gray would rather have it rain. There has not been a single drop of it ever since that day. Where there is rain, there is Juvia, right?

Gray had to mentally slap himself right there. Juvia had never liked being associated with the rain, it would always follow her around. Sure, water may be the element that had fit with Juvia best, but she did not want to be compared to the gloominess and sadness that rain gave to other people. It was a burden for her to always have the rain around. In fact, she became a more cheeful person because of the sun and the warmth it gave instead of the cold water droplets. She loved Fairy Tail because of its warm atmosphere, and she loved Gray for showing her how beautiful the warm sun is. And if Juvia could ask for anything right now, it would be Gray to always be warm, to think of Juvia was a warm person. But even so, having a little bit of rain would give Gray some comfort to think that her presence was still around, watching over him to give him some guidance.

He closed his eyes and flipped to a random page in the book. He read it out loud for his parents to hear. This was a family moment he wanted to do.

* * *

 _June 19, XXXX_  
 _Wednesday_  
 _Juvia successfully managed to sneak into Gray-sama's shower and..._

Maybe not that page.

 _Decemeber 30, XXXX_  
 _Friday_  
 _Gray-sama and I had a romantic job together at the children's elemetary school of Magic. We were in charge of teaching children the basics of elemental Magic. All the kids were so cute! Juvia has decided that when she becomes Gray-sama's wife, she wants to have five kids! But maybe Gray-sama would only like to start off with two... Juvia wants have her children named Ash and Marina! Since Gray-sama and father share names of similar color, Juvia wants to do the same! Juvia's name is rain in Spanish, so Juvia wants her daughter to do the same. Marina We would be one big happy family where Juvia can be the best wife for her beloved!_

He immediately closed the book and placed it in his lap. It was enough reading for now. He does not know why, but he just smiled at how silly Juvia's random writing was. She was full of sweetness. Her fantasizing was a bit over the top and more detailed that he thought it would be, but that was just how Juvia was. She cared a lot about Gray and he should have cared a lot more about her, or at least showed it.

He laughed to himself, but cried at the same time. He was really sad, but reading Juvia's writing made it feel like she was talking to him. It made him feel a bit better. So he kept on reading random pages. He wanted to keep 'listening to her' with his _family_ by his side. It was almost like introducing Juvia to them, at least in his mind. He remembered as a child he would often talk to the grave of his parents. Hearing himself talk would keep him sane, to remind himself that he was still alive. Juvia could still be somewhere out there. Who knows, perhaps he will meet her again someday like he did with his father.

* * *

 **Totally failed this chapter LOL sounded better in my head oh well... hopefully I won't procrastinate too much for the rest of the week because my break is now over... I know I don't want to stay within the exact days and dish out something within 24 hours, but I want to for the challenge heh. Thanks for reading and I hope you look forward to the next!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'll admit, I'm losing time LOL! I know that for Gruvia week you don't necessarily have to do everything within a day, but this was just a way to challenge myself. But now I'm losing sleep LOL This was just a random chapter put together since vacation did not fit perfectly well with the overall story. This is more like a filler chapter to lead you into the next. Thanks again for all the support you have given me and this story! Hope you don't cringe so much... there's nothing too depressing...**

* * *

 **Gruvia Week: Day 4  
** **Vacation l Rewind**

Days, weeks, months have gone by. Despite the time that has gone by to allow Gray for some recovery, there was not a whole lot of progress. He was able to laugh once in awhile, have some small talk, but there would a moment in the day where he just reverts back to his old self. He would be quiet, frowning, with his mind taking him wherever. It would usually be thinking back to Juvia. No matter how much time has scabbed over his wound of losing her, there was still a scar left over because of how many times he picked at it. He sat down quietly in his room against the door. Looking out the window, it was a little chilly, but nothing that would bother him. There was still no rain ever since and once in awhile, his fingers would randomly get numb. He would kid himself by thinking it was Juvia trying to hold his hand to tell him that it will be okay. But nothing really was okay. He will not be okay unless he really has done something to change what happened.

Gray has been a workaholic for the past few months. It was something to keep him mind off of things as well as get away from the faces of the rest of the guild because the guilt would just eat him up. Fairy Tail did hurt to see him this way, but understood that he had to figure things out on his own. Intervention would force so much on Gray that having patience was all that could be done. The jobs he have went up racked him up a good amount of money for him to easily just take a long vacation anytime. It has also made him travel to places he has never been or seen before. He had learned a lot about the little locations that Fiore was home to. A vacation is probably something Gray needs right now. In fact, he will go on a vacation.

But it was not some sort of luxury resort type of getaway Gray had in mind. After notifying Fairy Tail of his absence, he was set off on a new journey with a new end goal: learn how to bring back Juvia.

The world is a large place and in it, holds many secrets to go beyond human capabilities. Magic has endless possibilities and Gray knew that somewhere out there, someone would know how to bring back the dead. He knew that it would be a taboo to know such a thing, but he did not care. As a former elite member of Avatar, he had no problems reaching out to surviving, miniscule branches of the Zeref worshipping cult that did not attend the purification ritual. Thankfully, news did not spread that he was actually a ruse since the only people who knew about it had been arrested by the Magic Council. And lucky for him, within a month he was able to locate an Avatar branch that had a book of Zeref in possession.

Most specifically, the book that can teach Gray a way to take back the person who should always be by his side. It was the best vacation he has ever went on.

It took him months to learn this certain spell. It utilized time as the main driving force behind this ressurrection. The mechanics behind the spell is for Gray to create his own 'pocket dimension' where he can go back to save Juvia before she gets put against Keith where those anti-Magic barrier particles permanently damage her system and deteriorate her health. It would allow for him to create his own fake parallel to have Juvia back. Although it will not apply for the actual timeline, it was a start for him to have Juvia again. He would be able to freely travel between his dimensions through the use of his mind and body. He would be able to be with Juvia again in his mind, and continue living in the real world with his body. This was closest Gray could get. Going beyond this would only drive him to be a mad Black Mage like Zeref.

He had to try something. He was running out of options. He was willing to bet everything to see Juvia again.

That was all he cared about.

But instead of opening his eyes to expect his mind to take him back to Juvia's side, all he saw was white. Everything around him was nothing but the color white. This was the consequences of using a vacation to pull off something like this.

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 **My apologies for the short chapter! I hope the next chapters would make up for it (hopefully I can write them well enough). Thanks again for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Happy Day 5! Thanks you all for the support, it really makes me happy! I hope you enjoy this next chapter, and look forward to the next!**

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 **Gruvia Week: Day 5**  
 **Sounds l Void**

"What did I do...?" was all Gray could think to himself at this point. He was in a void of space. He felt like nothing existed anymore. All he could see was just the endless color of white. He could walk in one direction forever. Gray thought he was alone, but in this empty space, he was able to hear the echoing sounds of a town. The noises were echoing as if they were just bouncing off of each other. He could not make out the words he heard people talking. But there were more sounds than just conversation. He also heard birds, dishes, and even the wind rustling trees. But where was Gray even? Has he transported himself in between time and space? If so, how does he escape? Has he become nothing but an insignificant atom? Is he in some quantum realm where he is just isolated from the rest of reality?

Was this his escape? Or is this his doom for wanting to be in his own little world where he is a pseudo-god?

He sat down in his place (not like he was getting anywhere by moving) and tried to thing what went wrong. Why did it come to this?

Gray was technically not suppose to change time at all. He was just creating his own parallel similar to how Requip Magic uses their own pocket dimension to store whatever they desire. In this case, Gray just wanted to store his own alternative reality. Has he cursed himself with wanting the ability to see the 'what if'? Is it really only gods allowed to do such a thing? He argued with himself that he simply wanted to see his other life if he still had Juvia. Is it really not okay? Was it wrong of him to want that? Sure, there must be many people that want the same knowledge.

Even in a world of Magic, is mankind unable to obtain clairvoyance? Essentially, that was the forbidden spell Gray attempted to use. With properties of time, clairvoyance, space, simulation... he wanted to create his own little world of the man he wanted to be. Was this not enough? Did Gray have to go deeper and learn Living Magic? Was this his punishment for not giving up his humanity to bring back a single human?

Why did everything have to break?

Gray screamed out loud, gripping his hair as he broke down himself. But he heard no noise. He could not hear himself scream, or talk, or cry. All the sounds he could hear were from the outside. Was it something to make him go mad? If a normal person were to imagine the worst kind of nightmre, they would think of monsters or darkness. But Gray believed he was in the worst kind. There was nothing no matter where he went. He could not hit something because there were no walls, no ceilings, not even a ground. He thought someone would just wear off eventually, but Gray was growing anxious. What if he is sentenced to stay in this void forever? How could he escape? He could not use Magic, he could not use his strength for anything. It was a place where all of his strenghts were put to uselessness. Perhaps he could have his faith in some outside force to help him? Who knows when that would happen, if it could even happen? Is this his body, or some projection? Did he really split his mind and body in an incomplete spell?

He was truly numb now. No sense of feeling anywhere but in his head. Was he going to die here? Or can he not die at all?

"Gray."

He heard a woman's voice. His eyes shot open at the sound of his name being echoed. He looked in all directions, but did not see a thing. She repeated his name again and he tried running toward the direction of it. But it seemed futile. The volume of the woman's voice was the same everywhere he went. Was he being teased? Toyed with?

Was death not allowing it?

"Gray," the voice echoed again followed by what it sounds like a glass ball rolling along a marble floor. It got louder and louder so Gray decided to remain where he was. He realizes the noise was getting closer and as he looked off into the colorless abyss, he saw a small dot that grew bigger and bigger. It was a ball that rolled over with its momentum stopped by meeting Gray's feet. The crystal ball was then followed by the sounds of footprints. "I've found you."

He looks up slowly to finally see another person besides himself in this empty space. Even though it was not Juvia, he was overjoyed to have someone here with him.

"Ultear..," his voice shuddering to see the daugher of his beloved teacher. She was in her original state. Last time he saw her, she was the one that made the sacrifice of her own time in order to save many other lives. Gray felt selfish. And he needed to see someone like her to really feel guilty for it.

"Come, let me get you out of here," she held out her hand. For a second time, his life was spared.

He saw her face cracking. He was startled at first, but the calmness of her face made him assume that this was normal. He looked down at his arm to see that he was beginning to shatter like glass as well. He looked back up at Ultear's young face and saw her soft smile that told him everything was going to be okay. Bright light flashed in his eyes before he closed them shut to hear all the sounds were now gone. He slowly opened them again to find that he was inside a home, just a simpe one, rather small, but very cozy. He looked down at his hand to find that Ultear was no longer holding it, but was standing before him, in her elderly form.

Tears were brought back to his eyes as he went on all fours in front of the old lady. He felt grateful, but at the same time, apologetic. He thought he could neverr look at Ultear again for what she has done for him, for what her mother has done for him. All the pain he brought to her. Even though Juvia has gone through the absolute worst, Gray has brought Ultear pain even from the time when she was a child. She fell under the darkness and committed regrets that she has made. Despite how she feels redeemed and free from her sins, she had everything taken away from her. She patted down Gray's head, again, to tell him that everyone is and will be okay.

She allowed Gray to keep crying. She zoned out the sounds of his cries as she explained to him in a gentle manner that he is a good man. Even with Ultear's Magic mostly gone, she was still capable of tapping into fractures in time. The first time she discovered being able to use it was actually just now when Gray made a hole trying to use a spell to make an alternative reality.

"You've been in a lot of pain lately, haven't you Gray?" Ultear's elderly voice was something Gray was not use to. But the maternal tone of it was so soothing that it was able to calm down his tearing up. It was more a rhetorical question, more or less to notify Gray that Ultear had always known about his struggles coming to terms with a woman who kept close to him. "Do you remember? Years ago on Tenrou Island? She was lying on the floor, unconscious. Without giving it another thought, I was prepared to just kill her. But then you came to her rescue, and saved her before I could take her life away."

Gray remembered that scene very well, but he did not think much of it. From a guildmate to another, it is your duty to always save a friend. Though he may have done it once... no it was suppose to be twice. He recalled back to the moment of the war with the dragons. That premonition of him dying before his friends. He pushed Juvia out of harm's way of the dragonlings that were attacking the town. But because of this action, he was the one that made the ultimate sacrifice for Juvia. But with Ultear's intervention, they were both spared while she was the one that had to pay the price. But even then, he still could not save Juvia in the end. She was still gone.

"You're still young Gray," she continued patting his head. "Don't throw your life away so recklessly. She was you to keep moving forward or she cannot do the same in heaven."

"B-But..."

"Your parents will take care of her. Now you must take care of yourself. For when you join her after many years to come, you will be the man your father will be proud of. You're not done here."

He had nothing left to argue with. Gray had no more excuses. Just nothing left in him to keep on fighting.

"Come, let me take you somewhere."

She got up, grabbed her cane, and gestured Gray to follow her. Ultear lived rather isolated from the rustle and bustle of the town. She lived just on the outskirts, not too far to gather up any essentials she needed, but far enough to have her own serenity. She led him to a downhill path. He did not say a word, neither did Ultear, but just kept listening to everything around him. Who knows how long he stayed in that void, but it was nice for Gray to hear the sounds of the real world instead of just being an outsider of it. He began to hear the familiar noise of crashing waves. It made his chest hurt as it was just reminding him of Juvia's water.

"We're here," she said as she started walking over the sandy ground.

It was just a beach.

But as he stared off into the ocean, he thought about his teacher Ul and how she was a part of the ocean. He also thought about Juvia, and how she was born to just be water. If he really knew her, then he would know that if she had a choice of attaching her soul to something, it would be to water. And with the ocean being the infinite source of water, he felt like Juvia was there looking back at him, so thrilled because she was just waiting for him here.

"I'm here," Gray choked on his words. The sounds of water hitting his ears.

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 **Hope you enjoyed a bit! Only two days and two chapters left!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello everyone! Thanks for stopping by to read the second to last chapter, hopefully it comes to a close in a well-written manner. I apologize that the chapters have been as long as the first. But hopefully you enjoy the story anyways and maybe inspire your own version of this kind of tragedy/comfort story. Thank you all for the contributions you all have made by taking your time to read, review, favorite, follow, etc! Enjoy!**

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 **Gruvia Week: Day 5**  
 **Fear l Flower**

His heart told him to go closer, but there was something holding him back from touching the cool feeling of the water. As the waves crashed down and washed over the shore, Gray would always take a step back to avoid the water touching his toes. He was not sure why, but his body would always jerk and twitch when he saw the rushing water. What exactly is bother Gray? What is this fear of touching water?

"What's wrong Gray?" Ultear's voice went through Gray's ears, and seemed like it just came out the other ear. But he was not ignoring here, he just did not know what was wrong and could not answer properly. His mouth felt dry and his muscles felt tight. It was that numbing feeling returning again, except his body would only move when the waves got closer. "Are you afraid?"

"I think I am," he said with a scratchy throat. He started walking backwards, further away from the shore. He sat on the sand looking at the sun ever so slowly setting down. Ultear decided to join him. Perhaps he need more time to think and talk about things. She had to consider that he just escaped from an empty void just now. It must have been traumatizing for him to have to spend time in there where he felt like nothing. He still had to adjust. He never really fully recovered at all. From any of this. Although, if he were to come see the ocean when he was in the earlier stages, he probably would have reacted way worse. He may be able to just stare at the water, but it did remind him that he missed her. He still misses her.

"What are you afraid of?" she comforted him with a hand on his balled fists.

"I...," he clenched his fists harder and closed his eyes. His palms began to sweat and his eyes began to water, but not necessarily tear out. "I'm afraid to move on."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't feel like... I can be forgiven," he said slowly opening his eyes and exposing the tears in his eyes. "I can't forgive myself, ever."

"You fear forgiveness...," Ultear repeated to herself as she looked to the sky. "I've felt the same before. I've done a lot of cruel, unspeakable things in the past. The little girl closest to me, the one who loves me the most, I have taken away everything from Meredy. I thought I could change everything, but that was foolish of me to believe that. I fully accepted responsibility and I was prepared to give up my life to atone for my sins, but she saved me. She accepted my mistakes and looked at me for the person I am now. I was touched. Being forgiven was one of the worst feelings in the world because it made you feel trapped to sacrifice your life to make up for the things you've done... but I felt so at peace knowing that I was able to save someone. Before, I only thought about taking away lives for the better of others. But taking my own time and putting it for a good cause, was my biggest redemption. I allowed to let you live a longer life, the life I did not deserve."

"All the times my life has been extended by people like you...," he covered his eyes with his hand. "Why?"

"Why? Well you've saved me of course," Ultear almost laughed as she thought his question was silly. To her, the answer was obvious. Gray has done a number of things for the sake of other people. In her case, he made her realize that wrong she has done to revert the times for her sadness. She believed that she could make the world overall if she were to go back in time and change everything. She had to do a lot of bad things for that to happen, but with that dream gone, she has lived just trying to repay back for the damage she has done. Gray had forgave her. She thought wrong of him. Even if it meant for him to force her to realize it, but she did. As the warmth of the ocean wrapped around her, she finally felt that mother's embrace that she always longed for. He made her realize that her mother will always be here as long as the ocean is. Ul loved her student and would do anything to protect him. Juvia sacrificed her life because of her love for Gray. She loved Gray so much that she could not bear to see the pain of him having his father be unable to move on from the world he did not belong to anymore. She had to do her part to defeat Tartaros to prevent anyone from being taken away.

But Gray did not to be loved if it mean losing the people he loves.

"I don't feel blessed enough to be saved," he admitted to himself. "I think.. what I fear the most right now is Juvia still loving me. The more she loves, the more she loses herself... and I ended up losing her. I want to just stare at the water forever, because all I deserve is to see it. I don't her to feel how tainted I am."

"You're being so hard on yourself, Gray," she rubbed his back for comfort. "You have to face it eventually, don't you?"

"I guess... I'm afraid to face my fears," Gray stood on his feet, his tears being absorbed into the sand as it fell from his cheeks. "I'm afraid of Juvia. What she thinks, what she has done, what... I will do if I feel her presence in the water. Love? Hate?"

"She won't hate you."

"I know she won't," he laughed as he was wiping away his wet eyes. "I just want her to... because I don't deserve her love."

"In a sense, maybe you have saved her."

"I did nothing of the sort..."

"Maybe you don't see it, but she does, and she has always seen it."

The waves began picking up and was getting closer and closer to Gray and Ultear. During their talk, he has not noticed how each wave washed up farther and father on the coast. But with the water almost touching Gray's skin, he jerked back to avoid it. But as the water returned back to the ocean, he saw that flower has washed up at Gray's feet. Out of curiousity, he picked it up and examined it.

It looked a little beaten up, probably from the rushing waters of the ocean and the salt it contained, but it kept its beautiful color. It was a blue morning glory. The same shade of blue as Juvia's hair.

Flowers need the sun to bloom. Of course, they do need water, but too much of it would only have them drown and wilt. Juvia, ever since she could remember, was always drowning from the heavy rain she brought to herself and others. Everyone around her wanted to save themselves from the drowning by avoiding her. She was suffocated by herself. Juvia's heart was tormented by the rain. She was that flower bud that could never bloom because no one gave her the chance to see the light. But it was Gray who allowed her to see the sun, to let her bloom. To bloom into the woman that Juvia had always wanted to be, but was always held back to shunned away from everyone around her. That was all Juvia ever wanted. It was not the longetivity of her life that she was happy with, it was her last moments being back to be with Gray and Fairy Tail. Although it was unfortunate for her to go at such a time, but before her soul left her body, she was aware that Fairy Tail was coming together. Internally, she was smiling at that. She was smiling that Gray would finally get to be with his beloved guild family. She was okay with dying this way. Before she went, she has done a lot for Gray for allowing her to do so. She wanted to give everything she could for someone, and it was Gray that let her. Because he cleared away all the rain and all the sadness, Juvia was happy.

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 **Thanks again for reading and I hope you look forward to the last chapter tomorrow!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Bleh another short chapter! This was probably a predictable ending anyways heh... But thanks for giving this story a chance, though I don't think it quite meets any expectations. It looks more promising in the beginning, then it just fell. BLEH. Sorry about that! But I appreciate the time you put into checking it out. And I hope you check out other stories as well. Thanks for reading!**

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 **Gruvia Week: Day 5**  
 **Answer l Care**

A rush of cold water woke Gray out of his trance. He looked down to see the waves were washing up ashore and covered his feet with the cool, clear water. He felt uneasy about it. The hairs on his legs were sticking out and his body felt tense. One last tear from his eyes fell down his face and into the water. For some reason, the water stood still, not returning back to the sea. He looked over to Ultear to see that she was already gone. Quickly, Gray wiped away his eyes and placed the flower on top of a rock that sat on the beach. He sat beside it, still having his feet dipped into the tides. He was not sure what he was suppose to do.

"Gray-sama" he heard that voice. Even for an Ice Mage, hearing her voice was definitely something that can instantly make him freeze on the spot. He was not sure if he was just going crazy again, or if something was really there. He was not really sure about the idea of her soul being drawn to the sea, but he sure hoped so. But now that it was really going on, he was no prepared for anything. He has no idea what to do. Numb, yet again. "Gray-sama, answer Juvia."

He gulped, "Ju.. via..?"

"Juvia can't stay with Gray-sama for long," her voiced echoed across the water. "Father had lend Juvia some of his power to speak to you."

"Juvia, I-"

"Gray-sama," she interrupted him. He wanted to blurt out everything he wanted to say to her. Without knowing how much time he has with this moment, he wanted to make sure he said what he should have before. Who knows, maybe this was all imaginary. But it was real enough for Gray. "Juvia is sorry for putting you in so much pain."

"S-Stop! I'm the sorry one here! I'm so pathetic, I've mistreated you, I should have been there for you... like you're always there for me..."

"And Juvia's happy that she has been there for you, she's happy that you're healthy and alive," there was a short pause. "Juvia still wants to be happy... which means Gray-sama has to be too."

"How...?"

"Just remember, it's not nice for everyone else to keep making that face."

Gray remembers. Juvia had said those words to him before. Right after their team's victory over Sabertooth in the Grand Magic Games. That was the time when he figured out about Ultear's sacrifice. Similarly, he was feeling down and very hard on himself. Juvia would be the one to notice the most about his behavior. He knew she did not understand his feelings and could not blame her at all. But those words she said to him did speak to his heart. The world was not about him. He has friends surrounding him. They also have always done their best to be a part of Gray's family, to fill that hole that has been left in him. He can imagine Juvia's smile again.

"You're right...," he said as he tried to make a soft smile. He knew that he has to smile for Juvia. "Thanks."

"Take care of yourself," she said as her voice started fading away.

"I will," he answered back, managing to fight back his urge to cry.

The water on the beach had returned back to the shore, and the tides have calmed down. For that moment, he thought that the world just stopped for him to talk to someone from the heavens. He looked back at the ocean and walked closer to the water. He leaned over and dipped his hand in the water. He balled his fist and concentrated in the palm of his hand. Gray was creating a small capsule made out of ice. He had a bit of ocean water held inside and closed it off. He replaced the charm on his old necklace with this one. He had an old man's Ice Devil Slayer Magic and was able of creating ice that could never melt, just like how he froze the Sun Village of giants. He wanted to keep a part of Juvia with him, as well as his teacher. He wanted her to always be with him. To see him grow and change into a better man.

He took a big sigh and decided that it was time for him to go back home finally.

Before he did so, he traced back the path that he followed Ultear from to return to her home. He wanted to see her again before he leaves to Magnolia. The door was left unlocked but she was no where to be found, perhaps went wandering off somewhere instead of going back to her home. He saw a letter addressed to him on the dining table, but decided to read it later as he wanted to wait for Ultear to come home.

She had finally returned after hours of being out. It was night time already, but Gray did not mind and was being patient about it the whole time.

"Gray? You're still here?" she asked as she was placing down some bags she had.

"Yeah," he said as he started helping her out with some of the groceries. "I wanted to thank you. For everything."

"Well, you can thank me by telling me what you would like for dinner," she walked over to the kitchen.

"Huh? Well... I don't know, anything?"

Gray and Ultear spent the night just talking about things. The world, their feelings, their life, everything. She seemed so lonely ever since the Grand Magic Games and leaving Crime Sorciere. Although she insisted that she was content with living her life this way, Gray made it a thing for him to visit every once in awhile. He saw Ultear as a family. He did think of her mother as a parent figure and saw Ultear the same way. He wanted to make sure he treated everyone that has changed his life with the best care he can provide. He had to return to Fairy Tail and do the same thing. He needed to return to the warm home that Juvia will always cherish.

That was his _answer_ now. For Juvia and himself, for everyone he has lost, he will be happy.

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 **Hope that was an OK ending-ish. I felt like I could of gotten more deeper into this, but I hope your imagination would help you do that. Thanks again for checking it out!**


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